The Kingdom, ICT and Dreams

Watched The Kingdom with Khendy this week, and I think it is a great show! Especially the dialogue at the end of the movie. Shall not spolit the movie for those who have not seen it. I would definitely love to watch more movies that are in the same league as The Kingdom. For those who loved the movie too, I would recommend the book 'Confessions of an Economic Hit Man'.

Two more days to the end of my ICT. It has been quite an experience. Five years away from the army, and now I am starting to feel what it's like to be in the armed forces again. My stand is still the same: it's a good experience to have, but given a choice I would not go through it again.
Made a lot of new friends this ICT. Two persons whom I like to mention here are Hasli and Lawrance. Hasli is the malay version of the buddha. Haha, easy-going guy and like to joke a lot. Only 'bad' thing about him is he snores.. Loudly.. And yes, my bed happens to be located besides his. I was lying on my bed when suddenly he started snoring. Then the snoring becomes louder and louder, and I couldn't help but burst out laughing. At its peak, the snoring sounds like a pig being slaughtered... It's really comical. The good thing is that he doesn't snore all night, and the snoring stops after a few minutes. The bad thing is that it resumes suddenly each time, even though he didn't make any movement...
Another person is Lawrance. He is like the warrant officer in the platoon, always cracking jokes, lightening up the mood. And he is always kind enough to give me a ride back. :)
I remembered having a conversation with my sis, about my belief that if a lot of different people tell you the same thing, then it is most likely to be the truth. Wisdom of the crowds. My sis replied that a high chance is that these people read the same articles, and hence reached the same conclusion. Her advice is to start reading for more information, and then form your own conclusion. Interesting.. Kevin told me the same thing yesterday.. Wisdom of the crowds again.
Anyway back to Lawrance. He has a business, and was sharing with some of us about what he feels about running a business. What he told us is very similar to what was written in Rich Dad, Poor Dad (he haven't read this book before). I believe certain truths are universal. These are some of the laws of the universe.

I had a weird dream a few days ago. I dreamt that I met an old friend, and when I approached him, we felt like total strangers. Then our common friend came over and told me: "Litao, what happened? XXX told me you changed. You are so dao now.." I woke up in the middle of the night, trying to shake off a weird feeling. I was instantly reminded of a movie I watch on a flight, Talk to Me. There was this scene when two good friends fell apart due to some issues. At the end of the day, it's a matter of pride. I'm glad I picked up the phone in the end. :)

Today I had another dream. Quite a sweet one. I dreamt of this girl whom I was courting a while back. In the dream, we were together. But oddly, I didn't feel any intense happyness or excitement. Then I woke up and I knew the answer. The lessons of Origami return.


Follow your dreams. Literally.

ICT

Going to blog about my ICT here. Hope this post will not offend anyone...

Anyway, just completed the third day of my ICT, so far it's still not as bad as I imagined. Before the ICT, I applied for deferment twice, and was rejected twice. Tried again on Monday, but the commander told me chances not high. Then finally today I received a phone call from the HR, and while the clerk was telling me the results of the deferment, I was thinking to myself, "Pls, pls, don't let the deferment be successful...".

This thought surprises me, especially since I have fought so hard to explain my case. But after spending 3 days in ICT, I came to the conclusion that
1) I have already spent 3 days in ICT. Only 8 more days to go..
2) It's very hard to apply for deferment, meaning that I will most likely have to complete at least 10 cycles anyway, so might as well clear this one.
3) This ICT is not very siong, so oh well, just do loh..
4) I can use this time to recover. Still haven't fully recover.
5) My project seems to be doing well without me, and I can still provide them off-site support,
6) Heck, army paying me anyway...

A few things I observe is that no one would choose to come to ICT if given a choice, meaning that everyone has the same mentality, so don't have those siao on people (which is a good thing).
Pace of life now is really slow. Man, have to ram up my processor once I return to my project. Sux, just when I am starting to perform at my level. But nevermind, shall take this as a challenge. On a side note, this project is definitely going to be one of the turning point in my career. My first project absolutely sux, because of poor proj management, lousy leadership and disalignment of career objectives. My second proj was much better, but still I didn't really achieve anything outstanding, maybe because transition phase; too many people in the project and not much ownership of anything. Also didn't have a chance to interface with client, and hence was in the background most of the time. I think the reason why I am finally starting to perform to my expectation is because firstly, I have more project experience to bring to the table; secondly, I know what the whole proj is about; thirdly, this could be my last project; and finally, it's an overseas project so it breaks the previous vicious cycle.

A few things I have learnt about myself from this project are:
1) I still enjoy working on projects, as compared to a daily job,
2) I am able to contribute if I make an effort to; good to know I'm still in the zone. :)
3) It is important to be working with someone who understand what you are doing and appreciate your efforts,
4) To perform, just putting in the regular hours is not enough. You will be twice as likely to be outstanding when you are putting in more hours than other people, than when you are just more effective/efficient that others.
5) Monetary incentives are definitely something that is a big factor for me. The allowances in Malaysia is one big reason why I am still ard, and why I am putting in so many hours. (the ugly truth of what motivates me... shit.. I'm cheap...)

8 more days to end of ICT. Having IPPT tomorrow. Hope I can clear it so that don't need go again for this window. Think if I can clear my 2.4, it's going to motivate me to go for standchart again this year. But not going to think too much about it, since I haven't run for a few months..

Oh well, logging off, need to wake up at 5am again tomorrow. But compared to staying in, I definitely prefered being an early riser. :)

SPSS

SPSS: Smart, Pretty, Sexy, Sassy. I wish!

This is one of the few times when I'm blogging cos of boredom. Doing some work now, waiting for some stupid program to run.. so boring... 20 million records and counting.. if 10,000 records take 1 second to process, then 1 million records would take 100 seconds, and 2 million records would take 200 seconds, which rounds down to 3 minute. Then 20 million records would take, hmm, let me see, 30 min?? Shit.. is that why there has been no movement in my computer for the past 10 min??

I'm using two laptops now, one for running the stupid spss, and the other one connected to the net, to msn, to 933. My colleagues like to call the dell computer (which I am using to run the damn program) as 'the Big Boy'. So called because of its processing power. 'Hha hha, very funny...' Wait till you have to bring it home everyday.. Bloody heavy machine.. weighs like a brick.


Went to the supermarket near my place after work today. First time I go anywhere in KL. Usually after work I will be so tired that I just head back home and rest. But after my previous blog, I'm motivated to live the life I have always wanted to. Divya is so nice to show me the kind of things that I can try cooking on my own. Since I may be going back Singapore this weekend (again..), I will try to come home for dinner everyday. Bought chicken fillet, beef steaks and prawns. Also bought some seasonings and fruits. So excited to start cooking tomorrow! Too bad I didn't bring my camera. Else can take some pictures for keepsake.

Now everything is rather uncertain, because not sure whether my appeal for deferment will be approved. But regardless, just live one day at a time.


I wonder if any of you ever experience this: you are assigned something to do. Then because you are so good, you managed to do it in a tenth of the time which a normal person would. The next time you are assigned another piece of work, you are expected to perform the same kind of miracle again. Or consider this: you do the work in a quarter of the time expected, and make it look so easy. Then because you only worked for a small while, when you said that you are tired, people think you are slacking.. Or consider one more scenario: you are asked to do a piece of work, and you mention that you need a lot more time than what was initially planned. Mainly because you plan ahead and can foresee the potential difficulties that you may encounter. And your colleague commented that no way you would need so long to do such a 'simple' task...
Sigh.. Maybe I'm unlucky, or maybe I'm inefficient.. but I face this all the time in my work.. this task I'm doing now is supposed to just take 2 hours. It takes about 30 min just to convert the 50% of the files into a workable format... Hai... A little trust from your colleagues would be appreciated sometimes... :(
Sometimes I think everyone should learn about the big O stuff...

Damn tired... not even halfway through... knocking off... zzZZZZ

Nag about life

This weekend is probably one of the worst one ever. Got back on Wednesday night. Barely made it because I booked the ticket late. Was glad I was able to make it, since there was a dinner with my ex-colleagues. Then found out that it has been cancelled cos I didn't reply. Wanted to have dinner with joseph, but cancelled because of a bad headache.

Today is friday, and it seems like I'm going to spend it at home. Kinda of sux that no one is free. Fulin is free for dinner, but I feel lethagic about going out for dinner then coming back home again. Most likely will go for a jog. Sigh, I was so looking forward for Friday night in Singapore at last..

Tennis game with Vip was canceled due to his ....... Hey! Wait a minute. Life is bad for me as it is this week. Why am I taking time to blog about what a lousy week I'm having now?? I should be using this time to try to improve it right?? Yup, that's right man!! There's so many things which I want to do but have been putting off. Why spend time drowning myself in some misery that is part and parcel of life.

I have a dream. There's a certain someone I want to become. If I continue down this path, this dream will remain as a dream.

Signing off,
Origami