Events

The past week had been like a roller-coaster ride for me. In the short span of 4 days, I faced 2 major setbacks and came to a realization of how much of a failure I have been.

Lisa, one of my professors in school, once told me that we should always do an assessment of ourselves every few years, so as to gauge where we are and whether we are moving in the right direction. I just did such an assessment, and it is really depressing to realize how little I have grown in the last two years. If negative growth is possible, I am a lesser man than I was 2 years ago.

I have taken many steps to make sure that I don't grow to become the man whom I will dread, but somehow, if I were to look at myself now from two years ago, I would have looked at myself with sympathy and hidden disgust.

Through my immaturity, I have hurt the one whom I care most, and through my negativity, I have influenced my close friends in a negative way.

There are some things which I could have done differently, and some matters which I could have handled better. I wished I can turn back time and do things differently and handled things in a more mature manner, but unfortunately no one can turn back time. Let this be a painful lesson for me, and hope this will be a turning point in my life.

Hope this blog will capture how rotten this feeling is, and that it will remind me and all of us, that we only get to live each day once, and so let's be more conscious of our actions and how it affects people around us. There are over 2 billion people on earth, over 3 million people in Singapore; and life does not revolve around us.

With deep remorse and stronger resolve,
Litao

Best Performance, Delivered

-- For the first time ever, I'm blogging at work.. Hope none of my colleagues is reading this, but anyway, just a short blog to capture some thoughts. --

Yesterday, was watching the nightly Olympics update, and they featured the Chinese men gymnasts winning the gold for the Artistic Gymnastics Team Competition Finals event. They were extremely happy that they did their country proud. One of them had tears on his face. Not exactly bursting into tears type, but rather, a kind of dignified expression. I also remembered one of the commentators said that in the swimming events, even if the Chinese swimmer does not win a medal, they clocked a personal best for every race. Imagine what a country/company/team can do if every member performs at their very best.

I strongly believe people need to live for a reason. And as a good friend of mine commented, finding your partner is not about how pretty or intelligent she is, but rather it is about sharing the same goals in life. Let's hope one day, I can perform at my personal best everyday. Let's hope one day, I will find my reason for being.

Design of Experiment

Writing a blog is interesting. Not when you are writing it, but when you are reading it. Especially when you read it after a few months/years. Was actually quite surprised to read some of my blogs which I have written.

Anyway, been a long time since I last blogged. Called an ex-classmate a few weeks ago and he commented that I have not updated my blog for some time. Quite surprised to hear that, cos didn't know that he knows my blog. Anyway thanks pal, for taking the time to visit this blog now and then.

Have developed a strong interest in reading economics-related books, and one of the rules for economics is "keeping all things equal". There is a latin phrase for this, but quite lazy to google it now, since need to leave for DND in 30 min. Anyway, in engineering/science, the same concept is applied in Design of Experiment. Sometimes I have a tendency to treat my life as such; as an experiment. To try different approaches in life till you find the thing that clicks. For instance, I am very into tennis now, and quite into golf. Every week, I would have a morning game of tennis with Manik, and waking up at 6am is no joke. But, I really enjoy this and hope it will be sustainable. Golf is another sports which I am taking up, and I think it is really fun. Now I play golf and tennis on 4-5 days per week. Some friends commented that I play golf too excessively, but I replied that if I start practising it now, it would be fun for me next time when I travel overseas for work and can get to play on golf courses. Strangely, the same arguement does not applies to learning driving. (Yes, I am still a non-driver..) (Or, the only things I drive are slaves... Haha, kidding.. Slaves don't drive slaves in this companies. ;( )

You know they say in life, when one door closes, another opens. I think this is very true. Whenever I am contemplating an important decision in my life, a few options popped up. Some friends say that sometimes I am do the right thing at the wrong time. I think there will always be a better time. When situations like this happen, a phrase from a comedian always turn up on my mind, "Hey, be a man. Do the right thing."