Counting Blessings

1) It's raining and I'm walking in the rain

2) I'm in a happy discontent situation, and I can still laugh about it

3) I enjoy Koi, but not addicted to it already (good to be able to have a little indulgence/addiction once in a while)

4) I have quite a few really good friends, and I enjoy hanging out with them

5) I'm blogging again, which means I'm having time to reflect

6) This is probably the best time in my life thus far, in the sense as none of my previous complaints are applicable now (oh maybe I compainED too much...)

7) I don't feel envious of anyone (I'm happy for them instead, and I'm happy with what I have now

8) I can almost write like nobody's reading, and I think I will be able to do so soon

9) I think poetry is beautiful =)

Raindrops

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After Dark

Oops, I did it again... Read the first chapter of After Dark. Couldn't put it down. Just finished yet another H.M.'s novel...

Outside, it's raining all day. Inside, I wonder how it would felt to be outside, yet at the same time, glad I'm inside..

Obsessions

An obsession is a strange thing for me. It starts with an awakening of senses, matures through a period of relentless pursuit and exploration, and finally fades into the background to somewhere called memories or experiences.

There are some activities that I pursue in actively, such as Chinese Chess, badminton, tennis and golf. These are activities that I continue to enjoy periodically.

There are also some activities that I pursue in intensively. Intensively in the sense of a peak in commitment and interest. It was as if the experience/activity triggered something inside me, and caused me to have a spike in interest in the activity, akin to an adrenaline junkie. Then, for reasons known or unknown, the interest faded and it becomes a part of my history.

One of the early obsessions I had was Michael Crichton's books. I was introduced to his books by my English teacher in my secondary school. I remember reading his book for the first time, and feeling a great admiration of his knowledge of so many different areas in life. I still fondly recalled how I would visit the library everyday after school to look for his books. Each time I found a title which I have not read, the feeling is like a coin collector finding a rare find. Below are the books that I have read, and I was very proud when I was able to read every frictional book that he wrote (which wasn't really the case. He has actually written more books than the list). What's amazing is that almost every book that he has written has been made into a movie/TV drama. His non-friction book becomes the popular TV series, E.R.

The Andromeda Strain

The Terminal Man

The Great Train Robbery

Eaters of the Dead

Congo

Sphere

Jurassic Park

Rising Sun

Disclosure

The Lost World

After my secondary school:

Airframe

Timeline

Prey

State of Fear

Next

But as I mentioned about my obsessions, I started to have less interest in his books maybe because his style is always the same. As in, there will always be a twist at the end of the story. So often that it becomes no longer a surprise when I reached the ending. Nonetheless, Michael Crichton will always continue to be one of my favorite authors, and I will enjoy reading a book of his every now and then (though not with the kind of intensity that I had in the past).

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Another obsession/admiration that I had is for Jerry Seinfeld. The sitcom that he created, Seinfeld, is one which I can watch for hours at a time. It is funny, and scary, when I realized how much I am being affected/influenced by the show, that I decided to stop watching it. Seinfeld is a genius. The sitcom is hilarious, and very wits-fully written. The side effect of watching the show is that I feel depressed after watching it. The funny thing about the show is that the main characters are very 'stupid' or 'superficial', and watching the show, you will always laugh at them for being so stupid and superficial. The scary thing is that I realized that when you watch too much of it, you slowly become like them; you become the joke. In a way, there's something sinister about the kind of jokes that were employed, because you are laughing at how the characters laughed at their other friends' sillyness, without realizing that when you laughed at the characters, you have become them...

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The most recent obsession that I have is Haruki Murakami. Again, it started with an awakening of senses, when I realized that there are subtle, deeper meaning that is hidden in his novels. And slowly, I feel that it's too much of me in too short a time. I have read 7 of his books; with 6 of them this month! While I like the way he thinks and writes, some of the recurring themes in the book are a little bit too heavy / out-of-this-world / pessimistic for me to enjoy thoroughly.

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Definitions of obsession on the Web:

• compulsion: an irrational motive for performing trivial or repetitive actions, even against your will; "her compulsion to wash her hands repeatedly"
• an unhealthy and compulsive preoccupation with something or someone

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Contrary to the definition of obsession, I am able to stop the compulsion, and not become a slave to it. Maybe it is because I don't like to be addicted to something, or maybe because they are not really obsessions, just temporary addictions to the dose of adrenaline.

Obsessions are funny things. And somehow, I enjoy them because they give me a short-term goal/direction. And when I'm over my current obsession (Murakami), it leaves a void that begs to be filled.

and thus the vicious/virtuous cycle continues...

Headache...

Came back home and suddenly realized that my Outlook not working. First time an application is not working on my iMac, and no error message. So don't really know what to do, and really don't feel like troubling Joseph all the time for my IT problems.

So, decided to use Mail instead. Anyway, must try new things, new applications. Else will be hard to catch up in the future.

Met with Wee Tat and Allan for dinner just now. Talked a little about our work, and I can't help but feel a little not motivated. Not going to write about it, as the more I talk about it, the stronger the feeling becomes.

As we were walking back, I wondered if it is because I am not hungry enough... Funny. Always thought hunger was the root of my discontent. Now, absence of hunger may be the problem. Really feel at a loss about my next steps. Maybe the next 6 months will answer some of my lingering questions. In the meantime, at least for now, shall stop thinking, as it's making my headache worse.

..sometimes, really hope to having someone by my side to share the good and bad times..

Stop Thinking and Start Living. =)

Counting Blessings

1) I'm feeling better, flu not as bad as previous one
2) Have the option of going for Level 2 now, happy dilemma
3) Kept in touch with my ex-colleagues in IBM, and they give good advices
4) In the banking industry now, finally know what it is like here
5) Parents are finding things to do, so not much worries at home
6) Sis and bro-in-law doing well, starting their little family in May!
7) I have good friends whom I can share a good laugh with, and also can share and advice me on some work advices
8) I know what I want to do this year (at least for the first half)

Counting Blessings

1) My parents are healthy and going to be grandparents

2) My sis and bro-in-law are wealthy, doing well in their careers and going to be parents

3) I am on the greener side of the grass, and realizing that grass is grass. It is not about which side is greener, but about where you want to be

4) I am sitting in front of my iMac, spending a lazy afternoon, with time to blog and reflect

5) I managed to rest enough and didn't fall sick, despite being under the sun for so long yesterday

6) I enjoy thinking

7) I have too much junk in my room, and I need to start to throw/give away the unwanted/unnecessary stuff

8) I am overweight, over-nourished. (as compared to under-...)

9) I have a good sense of humor. Of cuz I meant healthy, not wealthy ;)

Counting Blessings - Reflections

As I started to count my blessings, I realized that I had some confusion about the distinction between blessings and good luck.

Counting Blessings should be about things that we have; that we may or may not have taken for granted.

It should not about events that will make you happy, eg. payday is coming, I'm going to Spain. These are future events, and our state of happiness should be dependent on our current state, and not on our future state. (I feel) these events merely masks the unhappy feeling that we may currently have, so that we may look forward to an event in the future, that may make us happy. (or maybe I'm writing this because of my current state of emotion). Maybe it is simply a matter of sentence structure, but doesn't our perception shapes our sentence structure?

Happiness is a journey, not a destination. We should be feeling content because of what we have, and not because of what we are going to have. Also, while it's true that I'm glad that payday is coming, what happens after that? Do I look forward to the next payday? And what do I do from now till the next payday? Continue to look for events that will make me feel good?

In short, it is important to define blessings, not for the sake of being technically precise, but for the simple reason that our perception of happiness might be twisted if we defined it incorrectly. (Eg. I'm very happy because my paycheck is very big.)

One small distinction though. I feel that current/future events of my friends do count as blessings, for good things that happened, or going to happen, to my friends make me happy too.

Counting Blessings

1) I am lucky to be offered my current job with a good package (nothing to complain about)

2) I am lucky to be able to get into the banking industry

3) I am lucky to be able to see what operations look like in banking (instead of always thinking the grass is greener on the other side)

4) I am lucky to be able to travel in the next few months

5) I am lucky to be not sick this week, especially since I have been waking up before 8 everyday since last Monday! Haha! (Yup, I didn't fully realize how lucky I was in IBM)

Serendipity

Was standing on the escalator in Tanjong Pagar MRT station when I chanced upon this quote on an advertising board.

"There is a calmness to a life lived in gratitude, a quiet joy" Ralph H. Blum

Very good advertisement. And what is the advertisement about? Erm, didn't really notice... haha =p

Counting Blessings

1) My current workload is not too hectic and allows me time to reflect on my next steps

2) I have good mentors who give me good advices

3) I am starting to have a good idea of what I want to achieve for my job this year

4) Money is not a concern for me (it's enough)

5) I am not financially independent, but I am not dependent on my job either

6) I am coming out of my comfort zone to upgrade myself, learning iMac, iPod touch, Window 2007, etc

7) I am in good health, and I can still make an effort to do some situps today.. hehe

8) I can eat to my heart's contents (doesn't mean I will eat a lot though! Just means that I can still afford to eat without immediate effect on my health)

PS: boy, this is hard the second time. I guess I take too many things for granted, when actually I should be thankful for a lot of the simple things in life.

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I wonder how hard it is to type a 5-letter word. Or I mean name.

Back in IBM, I compiled a list of commonly misspelt names, and the list includes
litoa
liaota
latao
litau
liao
laotao
lito
...

My 6th day in DBS, and someone managed to add to the list. Ridiculously wrong and funny, considering that he's a Chinese speaker... Don't know what to laugh or cry... Extract below:

"Please grant access for xxx and his team mate called Li Pao"

Counting Blessings - A Personal Project

"Counting Blessings" is a new personal project on pursuing a happy lifestyle. A lot of our discontent stems from our desires to pursue things that we perceive will bring us happiness, when actually we are already very lucky to have so much in life.

I can't remember from which movie/drama that I heard this story from, but find it very meaningful.

A man told his daughter that the best school in life is the hospital, because it is only when we fall sick that we realized how important health is, and material pursuit are secondary or even tertiary.

How very true. Let's hope we will alway bear this in mind, and not appreciate this fact only when we are unwell.


And finally, a quote from Mark Twain:
"Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth."

Counting Blessings

1) I woke up without a blocked nose
2) My family and I are healthy and happy
3) I am picking up spanish slowly, but surely
4) My current job is manageable and not too taxing
5) I have good friends and also some whom I can confide in
6) I have a good paying job, and no worries about cash flow
7) CNY is coming
8) I'm going to Spain!
9) Payday is coming!
10) I realized the importance of being myself, and not compartmentized my work and personal life

Dance, Love, Sing and Live

Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt.

Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth.

Weekend in Kluang - Part 1

This weekend, I took the train from the soon-to-be-defunct railway station from Singapore to Kluang to visit my good friend, Jasmine. My alarm clock rang at 6am, and I was thinking who set the alarm at this time and went back to sleep. Then I realized that I have a 8am train to catch! Hehe. not a bad start.

Reach the train station with plenty of time to spare, so took a few pictures for keepsake. I had bought the first class ticket (S$26), so was quite excited to see what was in store for me! (First class ticket is the only one available, not that I'm a-tas.. lol)

Anyway, First Class mean you sit in the first coach, and for me, I was in the first row, seat 1A! This means that I get the entire 36" LCD screen in front of me with vivid resolutions of the image "DVD not loaded"... Yup, not surprisingly, the LCD screen did its magic and I was dozing off within minutes. Luckily, Jasmine called me at 10am, and alerted me that I may be reaching soon! Indeed, as it was an express train, Kluang station was the very next stop. I was told by Jasmine's mom that if I did not alight, I would be 1.5 hr away from Kluang!! Lucky!

First thing I did in Kluang was to visit the famous Railway Coffee Shop. Food there is good. Not fantastic, but better than the Above Average standard. Ordered Mee Siam, Kaya Bread and Kopi. I seldom drink hot Kopi, but because one of the travel blogs said that the Kopi there is roasted over charcoal and is very aromatic, how could I miss this chance! I like the coffee shop a lot, and can easily imagine myself sipping coffee and reading a book there, while the rest of the world pass by. Unfortunately, business is too good there, and I doubted I will ever be allowed to do that. Nonetheless, hope I can return to the coffee shop again next time!

(Oh, I also met a mother and a daughter from Singapore. They were in Kluang for the day, and were there for the good food. I wonder how they are going to get around, but I like the idea of taking day trips to Malaysia. I think Asia is full of hidden treasures, and for people on a shoestring budget, they should definitely consider traveling to our neighbors in Asia!)

Anyway, Jasmine and her dad picked me up at the railway station. Couldn't recognize Jasmine at first, cos her hair was much shorter than the last time I saw her. (I remembered once, I met up with her at Tampines, after not seeing her for 2 years, I also couldn't recognize her because she looked so young with her new hair style. Isn't it wonderful the kind of things that girls can do to their hair?) Jasmine is a good guide, and pointed me to different buildings along the way to her house. The very first thing that strikes me was the number of schools in Kluang! I remembered clearly that she kept telling me the Kluang is a small town and there's nothing to do there! I think it couldn't be further away from the truth.

Weekend in Kluang - Part 2

I reached Jasmine's house at around 11.30am. It is a very big house, 2 stories with 3 bedrooms. The kitchen is very big and clean, and could clearly tell that Jasmine's mom is very good in the kitchen. I met Jasmine's family once in Singapore, so it's good to see them again. Valerie, her niece, don't quite remember me, and was quite shy at first. Her dog, Danny, is a cute little guy; full of energy and a little bundle of joy to have in the family. The only thing I don't like is he barks really loudly when he's excited, but I like Danny a lot cos he's playful yet obedient. I also like the interactions between Valerie and Danny. Always wanted a puppy to grow up with me when I was young.

Met Ying, Jasmine's cousin, around 12. I introduced myself as "Litao", and her reaction is "Hi. (in Chinese) Huh, he don't know Chinese ah..". She thought that I said "Ni Hao", which means how are you in Chinese, a common phrase for foreigners. (Happens to me a few times before. In fact, it happens to me again this afternoon. Made the mistake again, and said "Litao". My colleague replied, "Ni hao, ni hao..." -_- Moving forward, I'm going to say, "Hi, I'm Litao"!

Anyway, Ying drove Jasmine and me to a shop that sells very good beef noodles. It's actually quite funny; a 18-yr old driving two adults in their late twenties. Her driving skills are good, and I definitely have more confidence in her than in my own.

After that, we went to Kluang Mall. We played bumper car and ice hockey in the arcade, which I enjoyed very much. Jasmine and Ying wanted to bring me to a few other places, but I didn't want to trouble them too much, so we decide to head back to play a new game, Monopoly Deal. On the way back, we visited the driving center in Kluang, Jasmine's old place, and dropped by a dim sum shop to get some snacks for tea.

Weekend in Kluang - Part 3

After lunch, we went back to Jasmine's place. I taught them how to play Monopoly Deal, and they learned very fast! We took a break for tea, and I like the experience a lot. It is like a little tea party. We bought some snacks from the dim sum shop, and Jasmine's mom prepared some tea. It's a slow relaxing afternoon, and holidays should be this way. No rush, no stress, no schedule to keep to. Just good quality time with you and your friends.

After tea, we played Monopoly until dinner. Jasmine's uncle and Ying's sister, Ching, joined us for dinner. For dinner, we went to a restaurant, which served very good Chinese cuisine. The dishes are very unique, and I like the duck especially. After dinner, Jasmine's mom asked if I wanted to go somewhere for dessert, and my immediate reply is I can't eat anymore! Haha, they are so hospitable.

After dinner, we headed back and played a few more games of Monopoly Deal, before calling it a day. Woah, what a day!

Weekend in Kluang - Part 4

Day 2. Woke up at 7am. Had a very good sleep, and my nose wasn’t blocked. In Singapore, I always get blocked nose when I wake up in the morning. Maybe it is due to the air quality.. Jasmine’s parents had went to the market to get breakfast, so Jasmine and I brought Danny out for a walk. It’s my first time walking a dog, and I like the experience. I like the constant tugging of the leash; as if it is some kind of life force connecting Danny and me. As Jasmine puts it, am I walking the dog, or is the dog walking me??

For breakfast, I was fortunate to try one of the delicacy in Kluang, ma ti. It is very crispy, very much like what we called ‘butterfly’ in Singapore. We also had Roti Canai, which we called Roti prata. And also, Jasmine’s mom brewed a pot of Ipoh coffee. Very nice!

After breakfast, we had a little free time, and I got to interact with Valerie. I was reading the newspaper when she came beside me. I started to look for pictures and pointed them to her, and she would tell me what they are. She has an amazing vocabulary, and the number of words she knew surprises me. Then, we reached the Obituaries section. There was a number of photos, and I was thinking momentarily about flipping to the next page quickly, when Valerie started pointing to each of the photos and said, “Die, die, die, die, die. All die.”…..

I was seriously stunned.. Jasmine explained later to me that her mom actually had taught Valerie what the Obituaries section is about.

Pretty funny incident. =)

Weekend in Kluang - Part 5

Ying and Ching joined us in the afternoon. We visited Kluang Parade, another shopping mall in Kluang. There, we played Daytona and Basketball. Jasmine surprised me with her sharp-shooting skills. Not bad for someone who claimed she doesn’t exercise. We also visited Kluang Mall where we played Ice Hockey again, and then we had lunch at Old Taste, a restaurant franchise that is very similar to Old Town. For the record, I prefer Old Town. =)

After a late lunch, we visited Ying’s house. It is a very big house, and I like the ‘penthouse’ a lot. Interestingly, her maid is using the ‘penthouse’. Hehe. Ying taught us a new game called “Take Two”, which I think is a very innovative alternative to Scrabble. Then we played a little Wii, and there is a game when we mimic Michael Jackson’s dance moves. It is very fun, and I can still remember some of the dance moves now! Surprisingly, I was able to let go of myself and dance (a little awkwardly) to the beat. I thoroughly enjoyed the game, and thinking back, I remembered a quote which my good friend, Rom, liked “Dance like nobody's watching”. (Thinking back, Rom’s favorite quotes always describe her philosophy/outlook of like very aptly).

Ying’s mother had went to fetch Ying’s brother, Jenssan. I took an instant liking to Jenssan. He’s a handsome boy with a grin on his face that makes you wonder whether if he’s very content with what he is currently doing/playing, or whether if he’s grinning because he’s up to some mischief. Disclaimer: not once did he misbehave; it’s just an impression I got.

One incident that I find very funny was when we are in the car, Jenssan started reciting some Chinese superhero slogan, and Ching corrected him along the way. I think it is very funny because we are laughing very hard at the superhero slogan, while Jenssan kept continuing trying to remember the lines and reciting it, oblivious about the laughter besides him.

When we are back at Jasmine’s house, Jenssan played with Valerie, and I think it’s very sweet to see children playing with each other.

Weekend in Kluang - Part 6

Jasmine’s mom cooked dinner for us, and no wonder Jasmine says her mom is the world’s best cook. I like the sweet and sour pork (which I later realized it’s chicken!), as well as the steamed fish. During dinner, we cracked a few jokes about Ching, especially the ones about her being Spade, a Taiwan soap drama character. Ching is very outgoing, and doesn’t take to offence the jokes that we made.

After dinner, I played jigsaw puzzle with Valerie. I find it very amazing that if you give Valerie a piece of the puzzle, she would look at it briefly, and place it to the correct location. Only on a few times would she trial and error. I wonder if it is by memory, by observation, or through some other methods that she does this so easily. Even for an adult like me, I have to make a mental effort to locate the location of the piece. A child’s mind always intrigues me, and I strongly believe that 人之初, 性本善, and with good upbringing, the benefits to society is limitless.

At 8.30pm, I had to leave to catch my bus home. Ching, Ying and Jasmine went to see me off. This is my impression of Ching Ching Ying Ying duo: Ching is a high-energy young lady, and somewhat the family clown. She is very gracious and doesn’t take to heart about the jokes (a trait which I believe will serve her very well when she grows up). Ying, her elder sister, is a very sweet young lady who is very loyal to friends and I believe would do anything to help a friend. On many occasions, she offered to let me drive her dad’s car, a trust which I believed is misplaced. (I am about as good with driving as I am with directions..). Jasmine, Ying and Ching are very close, and I can understand Jasmine’s decision to stay close with her family, versa working in Singapore.

On a parting note, I made the following observation: when I arrived, my seat was in the first row in the first compartment of the train; and when I left, my seat was in the last row in the coach. What a curious coincidence~

=)

Perception of Time

It is said that time flies when you are enjoying it. I beg to differ.

I visited a good friend in Malaysia over the past weekend, and while I was only in Kluang for 2 days, it felt like a week or so!

The next day, which is today, I was at work and it was a pretty slow day, yet time passes pretty quickly.

I wonder why.

Then again, there are good times which seems to just zoom by, eg, my 4-month student exchange in Wisconsin, my 4-year uni life, and my entire childhood. There are also bad times which zoooomed by as well, eg. my 2-year National Service, and a 4-month ordeal period in a past project.

I guess our perception of time is always changing, and it depends on the state of mind that we are in when we recall our memories.

Perceptions are deceiving, and reading my past blogs, it never fails to amaze me how I had perceived things in the past, how I am perceiving things now, and how I perceive my future perceptions in the near future.

Which ultimately leads me to this temporary conclusion; why perceive? Experience life and try to get intimate with our emotions. Emotions don't lie; at least until our perception changes again..

* This is a meaningless blog entry. Or at least this is how I perceive it @17 Jan 2011.

**I'm writing this blog anyway cos I believe I will perceive it as somewhat interesting or meaningful in the future...

Good Karma

Today, I was scheduled to collect my new laptop from the office at 4pm. Will be saying goodbye to the slim, sleek HP laptop, and hello to a faster, better, and significantly heavier thinkpad. A little disappointed, as I have already used the thinkpad for the past 2 years, and thought I will finally get away from it. Guess who has the last laugh!

Anyway, left Comtech at 3pm to make my way to Shenton Way. It was pouring, with a capital P. Made my way to the taxi stand, and there was at least 10 people there. Waited for about 10 min, and there was no cab coming in. Called the taxi hotline, and after 15 min, still no cab took my ticket. It was almost 3.30pm, so I started to walk to somewhere where I may have a better chance of getting a taxi. (Not that I know where to get a taxi, but I know standing where I was WILL NOT get me one in time) (Sounds very similar to my career. Not sure what my career path will be like, but I know where I was IS NOT what I want.)

Anyway, saw a few empty cabs along the way, but they are all going to one location. I think there must be a taxi queue there, so went in that direction to take a look. As I passed the carpark, I asked a man whether if he knows where to get a taxi. He pointed to the direction I was heading, and added that there is a long line of people waiting. I was thinking to myself that I'm not going to make it, when he asked, where I am going. He then told me that he is going in that direction, and if I want to hitch a ride! Of cuz I was more than happy to hitch a ride!

On the car, we chatted a little, and he is very friendly. We chatted like old friends. We seemed to share an affinity with each other. Or maybe because he's an easy-going guy. In the end, instead of dropping me off along the way, he actually dropped me at my office! I couldn't thank him enough, and offered to exchange contacts so that I can buy him a drink next time. He declined, saying that it was an easy thing for him to do, and to think nothing of it.

There's not much thing I can do, so I just hope that some good karma will happen to him. Will be checking the 4D results this weekend, and hope his car number will strike first prize! I'm not buying his number, as I believe that the good karma should happen to him only, and if I buy it, I will jinxed the number.

Anyway, whether if strike or not, hope this new friend of mine will have good health and fortune for the year ahead!

Thanks, Steven! =)