The Road Ahead

Have you ever tried solving a jizsaw puzzle, and there are some pieces that are just too difficult to figure out where to place them? And after trying a while, you overcome the problem by trying to fix each piece against each other, hoping that they will match. The thing is, I realized that a good jizsaw puzzle has this property that every side is unique; that is, you can only put two pieces that belong together side by side. Other pieces won't be able to match the edge nicely. (To be honest, I'm not really sure if this is a proven fact, but as an engineer by training, and my experience in jizsaw puzzles, I think this makes perfect sense.)

Some people are lucky; they know what they want. They seek out the pieces like you would in a jizsaw puzzle, and start putting pieces together. Others like me, who are not so brilliant/focused/clear/blah blah blah, have to do it in other ways. Some people take two pieces together, and try fixing them together. If they don't match, they will still pretend that they do; or they might force the two pieces together. Some don't mind, for it's the imperfection that makes it beautiful. Still others do it the long way, trying out all possibilities until they get it right.

I used to the third kind of person: the type who would keep trying until the match is perfect. But now, I see the beauty in imperfection. No match is perfect; for there are bound to be flaws here and there. The beauty is in how to manage these flaws, and how to overcome them. It is this journey/process of making things work that makes it so beautiful. Making the impossible possible. To me, this is magic.

I remembered joining the company on June 14th, a very special day. When I received the offer, I was thinking that I am not going to be here for any time longer than a year. This will just be a stepping stone for my next consulting job. The thing is, what you expect is what you get. It is a kind of unconscious fulfilment of your own expectations. Needless to say, my first project is a disaster. Looking back, I think I have missed out a lot of learning opportunities.

The year is ending, and the new one is approaching. I remembered the same time this year, that I was thinking of setting my new year resolutions. One of them is to get a driving license. Unfortunately, I didn't manage to write down my new year resolutions. And unfortunately, I still have not started on my driving lessons... This coming year is different. I am clearer about what I want to achieve in this company, and I am going to take more proactive steps towards my self-development. The first thing I am going to do will be to set my resolutions of course. Setting realistic and achieveable targets is an important skill that must not be overlook, and I am looking forward to setting the goals and working towards them.

In the year of 2008, there will only be two focuses in my life. The first is career development. While I do not want to be an analyst in 2009, I do not want to be a lousy consultant either. To achieve that, there are a lot of things that need to be done.

The second is something personal. It is not going to be a smooth sailing journey, but I believe if we put our hearts into a journey, it will make us strong.

I am facing some difficulties in my life now, and there are some things that are not within my control. But I believe this journey is worth taking, and though there will be more obstacles ahead, if you believe in something, you should take the first step. For if you never try, you will never know.

There's a whole new world out there waiting for us to explore, so let's not let a few obstacles stop us now. For if we put our hearts together to overcome the obstacles, not only will the ending be sweet, the journey can be a fun and exciting one.

Hocus Pocus Bocus...

Just had my career counseling session yesterday with my career counselor. And we discussed about my future development plans and what I should be targeting to achieve by end of this financial year. Among the goals listed, there is one which I feel is a challenge; the need to increase my knowledge in marketing-related topics. When I look at the consultants and managers I have worked with, besides their presentation and client-interfacing skills, the thing which I feel I am lacking in is my lack of business knowledge. This is kind of worrying since knowledge is something which you accumulate over time. I guess I should start reading all those books I have bought..

Recently I fell sick the first time in KL. The trigger was eating an unfresh salad which was sitting in my fridge for 3 days. So weird. The salad is those you buy from supermarket, where the lettuces and the sauce is separated until you decide to eat them. Didn't know lettuces would go bad in fridge. Had fever for the next day, and fortunately there was not any important presentation on that day. Rested at home that day, and fortunately the fever went away soon after. Felt terrible though. Think the fever is trigger by the food poisoning, but was worsened by the prolonged period of lack of sleep. Felt angry at myself for not taking care of myself.

Sometimes I wonder if I am moving forward, or moving in circles. There are some things which I know I should avoid doing again, but somehow, history always seems to repeat itself. I guess if you keep doing the same thing, you will always get the same outcome.

There is a man whom I looked up to in Accenture. I have never worked directly with him, but his advices and words of encouragement will always stay with me. He has left the firm, but nonetheless, if there is someone I want to model after, it will be him.

Sometimes I wonder if I am moving forward, or moving in circles. I guess the answer to that would be depending on where I'm heading. If the destination keeps changing, chances are the path will not be a straight one. Whatever the destination, I want to be him during the journey; and whatever the journey, I want to be me at the destination.

Happyness is the way

Victor, a friend of mine back from jc years, has recently introduced me to the literature world of satire. It started out with a picture, and then a website (www.despair.com). Then I was shopping for a book one day when I saw this promotion in Times bookshop, advertising two books on satire. I'm reading one of them now, Guilliver's Travels. It always surprises me how much an influence a book has on me, consciously and subconsciously.

I think I first noticed it when I was meeting my ex-PA colleagues for dinner. Dear Mr Neo, who initiated the meeting, was still at the gym at the time when we were supposed to meet. If there is anything I hate more than insincere people, it's insincere people who wastes your time. Was really pissed, since I had just completed my reservist and was really tired. Wanted to rest at home, but thought since we seldom have a chance to meet up, I should join the guys and chill over dinner. And so began my satire remarks when Neo finally arrived. It's kinda nice when people is able to catch some of these remarks. At the end of the day, everyone had a good laugh (including Neo :) ), and no harm intended whatsoever. It's a different kind of humor, and I think it adds spice to the usual classic but intellectually-boring jokes that are shared around the table.

After reservist, my first week at work sux. I was in a pretty bad mood the whole week. Something was bothering me. And I think it is a combination of several factors. I was rather harsh to one/some of my colleagues. And the justification I had for myself was that this is really nothing compared to the kind of behavior I had experienced from one of my ex-team lead. Then it stuck me that why am I comparing myself against her? If I do that, I am acknowledging that her communication style is acceptable... My boss commented that I was quite impolite at times, and I replied that at least I believed that I was still being professional. Then he said that how can a person be professional when he is not polite. I wonder if the converse is true, that a person can be polite when he is not professional.

Sometimes in life, we always hope to work in an ideal workplace, where you don't have to work with unprofessional people. But then on the other hand, if I can't be professional in my work, how can I expect others to be? That would be double-standard. Alan told me that a guideline on when I should change my job would be when I stopped learning. I think the floodgates have finally blasted open.

When I was in my third year of university education, I adopted a different learning style. Instead of taking notes in lecture, I focused all my attention on the lecturer. I was often seen as the arrogant guy in class who would come to class with no notes and paper, and would just sit in the lecture room asking smart-alerk questions every now and then. I scored pretty well that semester, but it was only because I has good friends who had kindly lent me their notes to photocopy. A special thanks to all of them here, especially Yiwen. =)

The thing is, the reason why I adopted that learning approach was because I believe that the process of learning is more important than scoring well in exams. What's the point of coming to the lecture to copy notes and not understand the lecturer. Afterall, we are paying so much for our education not for the notes, but for the knowledge that our lecturers are able to impart to us. It occurs to me that this style may offend certain people, but if we always go with the crowd, then we will never be able to develop our own unique style. My point is this: when I went for the exams, I was enjoying the experience of education, and not for the sake of paper qualification.
(On hindsight, I would think that a combination of the two approaches work best for me. But everyone should try different methods to find out what works well for them, in whatever they do.)

I am trying to plan a trip over xmas this year with my colleague, and it was quite a last minute thing. Further bad news is that work is quite heavy for both of us, and so the trip becomes an additional workload. I was frilling over this yesterday, when I suddenly connected this experience with my education experience. At the end of the day, the important thing is that we get to enjoy the holiday, and that even this process of planning the trip should be something enjoyable as well. After all, I am feeling excited even when I was surfing the net for places to go. Isn't this something nice to experience? Sometimes in life, we become so results-oriented that we forget that the journey matters more than the destination.

"There's no way happyness;
Happyness is the way."

The Magic of Believing

The Magic of Believing. A wonderful book. It also happens to be the trigger of an event that shaped many of my non-religious convictions. It was a rather unpleasant event, and I would not like to be reminded if possible. Friends whom have helped me during this period will always be cherished and appreciated.

Was rudely reminded of this event today. It is disturbing when you see people around who think they know everything. You know they don't, and they know they don't. But maybe it is due to their subconscious mind that they develop this protective mentality that what they understand can't hurt them. And as such, what they don't understand, don't exist.

I do not believe that people are born to be selfiish, and self-protective. This is something that is conditioned by the society. Maybe there is something wrong with this society, that we are seeing more and more people who are acting in their self-interests more than for the general good. Adam Smith said that when left to their own devices, people will choose the option of maximizing their utility. This utility can be in the form of public good, and not just for an individual's material gains. Sadly, the more educated a person is, the less of this quality I see in him or her.

-- the rest of this blog has been deleted, for I feel there is more harm in reading something negative than benefits of learning something from there... ----