#100 Post

Wow, what a coincidence! This is my #100 post.

Really feel that I need to spend some time to practice meditation. Too much baggage to carry along, feel a little tired sometimes.

Anyway, on the brighter side, I'm no longer in my twenties, so really need to think and decide on what I really want. Really don't want to become a Dilbert or a Wally, or a Alice, or any characters in Dilbert... or in Seinfeld...

=)

Counting Blessings

1) I am working overseas and getting per diems
2) My current role is not too difficult
3) I have a good work life balance
4) I didn't fall sick in Feb!
5) I'm having little or no headaches recently (touch wood!)
6) Most of my recent dilemma are happy dilemma
7) I'm settling down to a healthy routine
8) I picked up cooking!

The Strength Weakness Irony

The Strength Weakness Irony. Your greatest strength is also your greatest weakness. Since uni, I always believe this to be true.

What an irony that today, I experienced it first hand, multiple times...

Strengths Weaknesses
Organized Rigid
Technical Technical
Business-Oriented Not People Oriented
Attention to Details Not High Level
Idealistic Inflexible
Critical Confrontational
Professional Not Personal
High Level Not Operational
Focused Ambitious


To be honest, I have no idea why my boss hires me.. Anyway, there's a third column which I have not filled in yet. Don't feel like filling it in though. At least not today.

On the brighter side, at least I feel very strongly about one thing:
After my CFA Level 2, I will face my deepest fear and apply for M finally...

We are only young once, don't let ourselves be binded by our fears!

Priorities

"You don't need to be perfect. You just need to be successful." Quote from a very good friend. Don't agree with it. Success should be defined by us, and not by the society. If success is defined by us, then it is possible to be both perfect and successful. Anyway, perfect is not the most appropriate word. Maybe idealistic is a better word. Anyway, if my good friend is reading this, she will probably retort and says that I'm misinterpreting, and challenge me to a battle of wits and words. But fortunately this is a monologue, so that's not going to happen...

Let's see. I have a good job now, in a good industry, with a good pay. I get to travel for my work, and to quote Dave's words, I'm being paid to travel. My job scope is simple, or at least I think so.

My concerns are, I don't really know where I want to go; I don't really know where I am going with this role; and I don't really know what my boss wants.

Came upon this quote recently. Saw it on an ebook on KrisWorld. "My work is not my life. My life is why I work." I like it. It puts things into perspectives.

My first 30 days in my new job. Had a brief assessment. Suddenly, all my strengths have become my weaknesses, and I have to eat humble pie. Which unfortunately, is not something I enjoyed, especially when I don't agree with 70% of what was being explained. I guess when you are in Rome, do what the Romans do.

So this is what I will do. I don't agree with how things are done here, but things need to move forward, and I will be a good team player. As much as I can, I will try to value add, but if my strengths are seen as weaknesses, then I will adapt accordingly. I will try to take initiatives, but if my initiatives are seen to be counter-strategy and not appreciated, I will adapt accordingly. Net net is, I want to be professional and responsible. Do my best to add value to my organization, and if my work is perceived as non-value-adding, then bottomline is I won't be a value-destroyer. At least make sure things move forward, and be professional enough to act to the best interests of my employer.

My ex-colleague cum mentor likes to say, make sure you have your own objectives, so that at the end of the day, you know you are not wasting your time.

My objectives for the year is
1) Excel in my work, and if not, at least deliver and be professional
2) Take initiatives, and if not, at least be a supportive team player
3) Pass CFA Level 2, and if not, at least respect the exam and study for it
4) Immerse fully in the experience of working overseas, and if not, at least grow up and become an adult
5) Pass my IPPT, and if not, at least keep fit

and most importantly,
6) Think positive, and if not, at least don't think negative!

Think no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil, do no evil, see no evil...

Feel like talking to a friend now, but I guess we all have our own problems. Anyway, this is a battle that I have to face, internalize, and overcome. I'm quite sick of changing jobs and industires every 1-2 years also....

A short blog - Kluang Re-visited

Been a long time since my last blog, mainly cos there was some negativity in my work life, and didn't want to let it affect me further.

There was a story of a man writing down his woes in sand, and craving his blessings on stone. Same rationale; I try not to blog about negative feelings too much as it just serve to enforce them even more.


Anyway, just want to write a short entry on Kluang, and hopefully write a longer one when I'm more settled down.

My second visit to Kluang was, unfortunately, not as good as my first time. Firstly, it was too short. And secondly, I hope it won't be my last visit..

But overall, it was a very good trip (note: "not as good as my first time" doesn't mean that it is not good ok!!)

I think the highlights of the trip are 1) breakfast at the railway kopi place, and 2) KTV session. Oh, and 3) the nasty uncle who kept saying "no problem, no problem...." Luckily it is not a BIG problem. So it's a good lesson learnt. Next time, I will make sure to stand on my grounds!

Oh, and 4) "hey Miss, stop stop. We need to check your bag..." LOL

Counting Blessings

1) I have so many good friends! =)

Counting Blessings

1) It's raining and I'm walking in the rain

2) I'm in a happy discontent situation, and I can still laugh about it

3) I enjoy Koi, but not addicted to it already (good to be able to have a little indulgence/addiction once in a while)

4) I have quite a few really good friends, and I enjoy hanging out with them

5) I'm blogging again, which means I'm having time to reflect

6) This is probably the best time in my life thus far, in the sense as none of my previous complaints are applicable now (oh maybe I compainED too much...)

7) I don't feel envious of anyone (I'm happy for them instead, and I'm happy with what I have now

8) I can almost write like nobody's reading, and I think I will be able to do so soon

9) I think poetry is beautiful =)

Raindrops

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After Dark

Oops, I did it again... Read the first chapter of After Dark. Couldn't put it down. Just finished yet another H.M.'s novel...

Outside, it's raining all day. Inside, I wonder how it would felt to be outside, yet at the same time, glad I'm inside..

Obsessions

An obsession is a strange thing for me. It starts with an awakening of senses, matures through a period of relentless pursuit and exploration, and finally fades into the background to somewhere called memories or experiences.

There are some activities that I pursue in actively, such as Chinese Chess, badminton, tennis and golf. These are activities that I continue to enjoy periodically.

There are also some activities that I pursue in intensively. Intensively in the sense of a peak in commitment and interest. It was as if the experience/activity triggered something inside me, and caused me to have a spike in interest in the activity, akin to an adrenaline junkie. Then, for reasons known or unknown, the interest faded and it becomes a part of my history.

One of the early obsessions I had was Michael Crichton's books. I was introduced to his books by my English teacher in my secondary school. I remember reading his book for the first time, and feeling a great admiration of his knowledge of so many different areas in life. I still fondly recalled how I would visit the library everyday after school to look for his books. Each time I found a title which I have not read, the feeling is like a coin collector finding a rare find. Below are the books that I have read, and I was very proud when I was able to read every frictional book that he wrote (which wasn't really the case. He has actually written more books than the list). What's amazing is that almost every book that he has written has been made into a movie/TV drama. His non-friction book becomes the popular TV series, E.R.

The Andromeda Strain

The Terminal Man

The Great Train Robbery

Eaters of the Dead

Congo

Sphere

Jurassic Park

Rising Sun

Disclosure

The Lost World

After my secondary school:

Airframe

Timeline

Prey

State of Fear

Next

But as I mentioned about my obsessions, I started to have less interest in his books maybe because his style is always the same. As in, there will always be a twist at the end of the story. So often that it becomes no longer a surprise when I reached the ending. Nonetheless, Michael Crichton will always continue to be one of my favorite authors, and I will enjoy reading a book of his every now and then (though not with the kind of intensity that I had in the past).

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Another obsession/admiration that I had is for Jerry Seinfeld. The sitcom that he created, Seinfeld, is one which I can watch for hours at a time. It is funny, and scary, when I realized how much I am being affected/influenced by the show, that I decided to stop watching it. Seinfeld is a genius. The sitcom is hilarious, and very wits-fully written. The side effect of watching the show is that I feel depressed after watching it. The funny thing about the show is that the main characters are very 'stupid' or 'superficial', and watching the show, you will always laugh at them for being so stupid and superficial. The scary thing is that I realized that when you watch too much of it, you slowly become like them; you become the joke. In a way, there's something sinister about the kind of jokes that were employed, because you are laughing at how the characters laughed at their other friends' sillyness, without realizing that when you laughed at the characters, you have become them...

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The most recent obsession that I have is Haruki Murakami. Again, it started with an awakening of senses, when I realized that there are subtle, deeper meaning that is hidden in his novels. And slowly, I feel that it's too much of me in too short a time. I have read 7 of his books; with 6 of them this month! While I like the way he thinks and writes, some of the recurring themes in the book are a little bit too heavy / out-of-this-world / pessimistic for me to enjoy thoroughly.

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Definitions of obsession on the Web:

• compulsion: an irrational motive for performing trivial or repetitive actions, even against your will; "her compulsion to wash her hands repeatedly"
• an unhealthy and compulsive preoccupation with something or someone

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Contrary to the definition of obsession, I am able to stop the compulsion, and not become a slave to it. Maybe it is because I don't like to be addicted to something, or maybe because they are not really obsessions, just temporary addictions to the dose of adrenaline.

Obsessions are funny things. And somehow, I enjoy them because they give me a short-term goal/direction. And when I'm over my current obsession (Murakami), it leaves a void that begs to be filled.

and thus the vicious/virtuous cycle continues...